Hurried and Harried Woman: Steps to Getting Your Life Back


I am sooooooooo busy!

The new common response to our standard greeting of “How are you?“, is “I am sooooooo busy” suggesting importance and validation based on our busyness.

We are defining ourselves by what we do, not by who we are. And, it is a sign that we have become disconnected from what is important.

We are the hurried and harried and terms like hurry syndrome, time sickness, and the disease of busyness describe the frantic pace of our lifestyle. Hurry syndrome is defined as “a behaviour pattern characterized by continual rushing and anxiousness, an overwhelming and continual sense of urgency.” It is further described as a “malaise in which a person feels chronically short of time and so tends to perform every task faster and gets flustered when encountering any kind of delay.”

Our rapidly changing technology is designed to improve our lives and make things easier. However, it does just the opposite. We are distracted and have forgotten that our personal well-being is important.

In his book, The Hurried Woman Syndrome, gynecologist Dr. Brent Bost says that our busy lifestyle causes stress. Women between the age of 25-55 with children aged 4-16 are susceptible to this syndrome although they are not the only sufferers. The symptoms caused by hurry and stress are weight gain, low sex drive, moodiness, and fatigue. These rather general symptoms can be a result of other stress-related conditions such as hormonal imbalance, thyroid dysfunction, adrenal exhaustion, and other physical and mental disorders. Many of us are experiencing these conditions, male and female.
Listen to your body and seek help from your doctor and other practitioners that support your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Our health is important and as we take care of ourselves we encourage others to take care of themselves.

“Women, in particular, need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we’re scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don’t have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to do’ list.” -Michelle Obama

So, how do we get back to what is important?

Be a Selfist
The term ”selfist” means to be “for” ourselves. It’s not selfish to do so. In fact, it’s necessary to do so. By focusing on ourselves and our health -mind, body and spirit – we are healthier and our perspective shifts. Slowing down and disconnecting from the busyness of the world quiets the constant chattering of the ego allowing us to access the wisdom of our intuition. We create the space for much needed awareness and guidance to surface leading to change.

1. Press pause and take the time to focus on what you need and want at the moment.
2. Breathe and connect to your centre knowing all is well.
3. Practice saying “no” to one demand on your time each day in favour of something that is meaningful and enjoyable for you.
4. Set limits about answering your email, social media, and your phone.
5. Plan to do something for your body, mind, and spirit each day.

Be Willing To Shift Your Perspective
Your thoughts and words are impressed upon your body and held in your body’s tissues. Thoughts of stress and not coping will negatively affect your body causing inflammation and scientific research indicates that inflammation is the major cause of all chronic diseases. Observe your thoughts and the language you use in speaking about yourself, your circumstances, and in conversation with others.

“You do not attract what you want, you attract what you are.” – Wayne Dyer

1. Choose to feel good.
2. Adopt an attitude of gratitude and make a practice of noticing everything that is going “right”.
3. Show up and be the best version of yourself.
4. Be in the present. Let go what has happened in the past and do not focus on what has not happened yet.
5. See the best in everyone and in every situation.

Practice the Philosophy of Wabi-Sabi
The Japanese term, wabi-sabi is essentially, the appreciation for the imperfections in yourself and others. The Japanese believe that when something has been damaged, it takes on a richer character and becomes more valuable. To bring wabi-sabi into our lives, we need to slow down, shift from doing to being, and to appreciate who we are – cracked and imperfect, however, beautiful without feeling a need to fix and be perfect. Love, accept and celebrate who you are and extend that same appreciation to others you are in a relationship with at home and work.

Commit to being a “selfist”. In the quiet moments, press “pause” and become aware of what is important to you and create your best life yet! You deserve to not just survive or even thrive but to live a flourishing life. Remember, you are not soooo busy, but rather, your life is soooo full — full of opportunity and possibility and time for yourself.

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” – John De Paola



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